Mis-heard Yoga Mantras…and Crabless Rangoons with Quick Pepper Sauce

I am not one of those yogis who likes to hear a bunch of talking from my yoga teacher while in class, but the other night my teacher was on one.

“Envision the word relief as you inhale and FEEL the word relief as you exhale. Again, envision the word…”

“Now, dedicate this class to someone. See them in your mind and heart… Push this energy out to them!  Fill them with this energy! Yesssssssss!”

“Clear your mind and leave all of today on your mat. Whatever troubled you, let it fall off you… Really stand in your power in this one. Feel that grounding energy through your feet and let energy release through your crown… Am I talking too much? My daughter says I talk too much in class, hahahahahahahahaha!!!”

All this and more was said during the first seven minutes of class.

Seven. Minutes.

-_- (this is my annoyed face)

But brilliance happened at minute ten.

At minute ten, she said, “Today’s mantra is I Am Enough.”

But for the life of me, I swear I heard, “Today’s mantra is I’m Fine As Fuck.”

And I chuckled out loud.

Maybe some of my classmates thought my self esteem was on struggle because I laughed at being enough. But I was laughing at how brazen a mantra like I’m fine as fuck is. The outlandishness of it tickled me.

Who says that shit in yoga?

Who says that shit in life and means it? Like for real, for real?

But then I had to think about why I thought it was outlandish.

It’s not.

So my smiled disappeared, and a new expression hit face as I stood there saying–then truly believing–that yeah, I am fine as fuck. That’s gonna be my mantra in this class. Shiiiiid, that’s gonna be my mantra in this Life!

How many of us ever walk around feeling fine as fuck? And not just cute or attractive, outfit popping, but really all-around Fine As Fuck?

Fine as fuck with our chosen career. Fine as fuck with our family and friends and finances (my knees tend to buckle on that last one). Fine as fuck mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

And fine as fuck in and with our bodies.

All of that.

I want all of that.

And, to me, that is the first mantra I’ve heard that is worth repeating daily. Worth tucking into my hot yoga-taking ass spirit.

I left class feeling cared for. By me.  That mantra seemed to help with my needing to be told by someone else that I am fine as fuck. And that, my friends, is a game changer.  A life changer.

So namaste to God, the only who truly knows me, for She scrambled that teacher’s mantra to better suit my life and needs that day. And side note: if you think God has never said “fuck” before, you obviously haven’t witnessed mankind.  And side note-side note: I hope there is a yoga teacher out there who will read this and make I’m Fine as Fuck the mantra of her next class! That’s the class I would go back to.

Til next time, Reine.

Crabless Rangoons with Quick Pepper Sauce

for the rangoon…

• one-14.4oz can of whole hearts of palm, drained and rough chopped or pulsed in the food processor
• 1 cup tofutti cream cheese (or your vegan cream cheese of choice)
• 3 TBSP chopped scallions/green onions
• 1 tsp dulse flakes (found at Whole Foods or your international market)
• 1/2 tsp kelp powder (found at Whole Foods or your international market)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1 package wonton wrappers
• oil of choice for deep frying

Directions:

1. Combine your drained and chopped hearts of palm with the tofutti cream cheese, chopped scallions, dulse flakes, kelp powder, sea salt, and garlic powder until well mixed.
2. Place a heaping teaspoon of the rangoon filling into the center of one wonton wrapper.
3. Dip your finger in water and brush two opposing edges of the wonton wrapper.
4. Pull the edges up to seal the filling in.
5. Your oil of choice should be hot (about 350 degrees). Once ready, gently place (but do you really have to be told gently?) a few rangoons in at a time and cook for 4-6 minutes until golden brown.

Quick Pepper Sauce

• 3 TBSP agave nectar
• 3 TBSP white wine vinegar or Rice Wine Vinegar or lime juice… do you
• 1/2 tsp Bragg’s Amino Acid or tamari or soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp crushed red chili pepper flakes
• 1/2 tsp sesame oil

Directions for sauce:

1.  Combine all ingredients and set aside until ready to dip.