You have to eat a salad sometimes…

Twenty-eight days out of the month I am a Straight Gangster. Two days out of each month I am all in every.feeling.I.have.ever.had. Emotionally, I retreat like one of the little rascals in a “I’m running away from home” scene…grab a stick from a tree, bundle up my clothes in one shirt, tie it around the stick and tada…luggage. I’m out. To the bat cave.

Every hurt has to be reminded that it healed long ago. And all the people from age 8 to now that I’ve forgiven (truly, I have), I imagine them getting hit by a bus. And although while watching this bus in action I do not smile, I do say, “Look at God. Won’t He do it?” 

Hey…no judgment.

I had one of these days this week. I sent a weepy text to my sis-friend R who, like the champion of friends she is, immediately responded that she would step away from the crowd so she could call me.

Me: Girl…I’m sure this is hormonal based. Why don’t I do crack? If I did crack I would never have to deal with these emotions. They’d come, and I’d be like, time for crack. I wouldn’t have to feel them.

R: You also wouldn’t have your children or teeth.

There she go…ruining daydreams with logic and ish. I do like my teeth…

In this get-back-in-balance conversation, we mention crying…memories…loves…shoes…ding-dongs…Suzy Qs (who remembers those?), spring rolls…onion rings…

You see that drift to food? Why, you ask? Cause when I go to my cave, I take a plate of onion rings (see last post), or french fries, or spring rolls with me. And maybe a peach cobbler, too.

My name is Reine Keis, and I’m an emotional eater.

Now, I’ve learned to balance these moments with commonsense food…sometimes. If I ate like that everyday…I’d feel horrible. My digestive system isn’t built to handle that type of daily indulgence. So what’s a fabulous, semi-body conscious, struggle-digestion woman to do?

Make a damn salad.

Salads get such a bad rap. And they should; they can be boring as hell. So my salads have no rules…they don’t have to have lettuce…they don’t have to have 16 other vegetables…they don’t have to be eaten by anyone else in the house. (cue my lovely daughter who just said, Mom, who eats jicama? Nobody.)

Though this salad doesn’t have lettuce in it, it is quite tasty on a bed of mixed greens. The dressing is the superstar. Use it on any salad you make and that will be your favorite salad for a good minute.

Look, if I could run away each month I would (I think some people go to the spa…) I can’t eat onions rings every day. I can’t lose my teeth…or my beautiful babies–for the record, I LOVE my children. I can’t conjure buses to run over people…cause if I could….honey, look, there’d be some flat mfs dropping in a city near you.

What I can do is reach out from the cave and connect with a friend…and torture my children with jicama salads.

Use whatever fruit/vegetable you like in this salad. If you do not love grapefruit, do not use it. You have to really love it to enjoy it’s bittersweet flavor and juicy texture in this salad. The roasted shallot-red wine vinaigrette though…all.day. Make it. Eat it. Love it. All. Day.

Until next time, Reine

Jicama-Avocado-Grapefruit Salad with a Roasted Shallot-Red Wine Vinaigrette

1/2 jicama, peeled and julienned

1/2 Florida avocado (the BIG avocados whose skin looks a bit more yellowy-green than the Haas variety)

1 grapefruit, peeled and sectioned

1/4 cup cilantro, chopped

Roasted Shallot-Red Wine Vinaigrette

4 shallots, roasted

1/2 cup light olive oil, reserved from roasted shallots

2 TBSP apple cider vinegar, I like the Bragg’s variety

2 TBSP red wine (not vinegar, but actual wine. If you don’t have red wine, I’m truly sorry. You can use red wine vinegar or just replace with apple cider vinegar. If you replace with acv, your vinaigrette will not be pink-ish in color…but still tasty)

2 tsp honey or agave or sweetener of choice

1.5 tsp dijon mustard

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp dried parsley

1/4 tsp grapefruit zest

4 cracks/turns freshly ground pepper

 

Directions for making roasted shallots:

1.  In a small pot set over low heat, take your 4 peeled and halved shallots and cook in enough oil to cover (atleast one cup)  for 20-30 minutes, or until shallots are soft and tender.

 

Directions for vinaigrette:

1.  Put your roasted shallots, oil, acv, red wine, sweetener, mustard, sea salt, grapefruit zest and pepper in the your upright blender and process until smooth. Done.

Directions for putting together this salad.

1.  You will not need all of this vinaigrette for this salad. But if you like a heavily-dressed salad, do you–it’s your kitchen. I would suggest putting some of the vinaigrette on every vegetable/fruit used in your salad of choice. Toss. Enjoy. Drink some wine with it. Enjoy some more.

Full disclosure: I made this salad. Ate it. Then ate a cupcake.

Balance, y’all. Balance.